"I hate speeding tickets. I have a fast car!"

For those that don't know by now, I am a Police Officer. Today I went into the city building to pay my water bill and was met by the brightest of the bright... A young man with a sideways baseball cap, almost no teeth, with pants and a shirt so baggy you could smuggle Rosanne Arnold in them and still have room for a 12 gauge.**Shudder**

He looks at me and says:

"Hey, so you're with the **My City** Police?"

I responded, "Yes I am."

"Do you know an Officer **Name Omitted**? He got me for doing 61 in a 30, and I had to pay a $365 dollar ticket."

"Yes, I do. He was my field training Officer."

"Yeah, like I guess 15 guys complained to the post watchman." (Sidenote, I'm in a city close to a military base) "I guess he just camps there. Its F***ing BullShi*."

"Well I guess my advice to you would be...Don't Speed."

"But I have a fast car! A pimp daddy ride!"

/FACEPALM... (For those of you unfamiliar with "/facepalm" it's the internet way to convey that you just took your open hand, and slammed it into your face in anguish from the stupidity you just witnessed)

He continues after I pay my bill....

"So how do I go about getting the tickets off my record?"

"Ummm...I believe that would be the courts that might be able to help you with that."

"You can't?"

"No, I can't. My duty is to catch people speeding. I don't deal with the other crap, like diversions. You'll have to go through the courts."

He then enters into a drawn out speech about how the State and town suck because we fine so much for speeding and that he goes 115mph in 30mph zones, and the entire time he's doing this, the two very attractive ladies behind the counter that just got done taking our payments, are looking at him like he's the most obnoxious piece of s*** they've ever seen. He of course is oblivious to this and continues on, saying that police shouldn't just sit in a spot waiting for speeding tickets, when in all actuality, we only sit when those peak traffic times come and we know dinglefarts like him will be showing up soon.

And my faith in man grows weaker...