See...now I was under the impression fences were there for a purpose.

Another cop story...prepare yourself.


So it downpours today. Badly. For the first 10 hours of the whole shift not a single overly stupid person. My theory is now that for every hour of non-stupidity I get, someone somewhere is collecting "stupid-vibes" and making AWESOME decisions. These awesome decisions build and build until something like what happened, happens.

I just get off of a call, and receive notification that in ANOTHER location someone may of had an accident. All of this is 40 minutes away from the end of a 12 hour shift.

"Meh." I think, "Well, I'll just get it cranked out, catch up on my paper work and go home."

As I pull around the corner, my thoughts shift from "meh" to "NO FU*#ING WAY!"

At the end of a round about there is a fence. Or what's left of a fence. Skid marks are in the road and grass leading past the fence at least 50 feet. A truck is sitting there...with one passenger. I start talking and almost get hammered from the person's breath. (FYI, I won't ever being specifying names, locations or sex, so sorry for those who want nitty gritty details. You won't be getting them.) The person proceeds to tell me they were in an argument with a significant other, after having several drinks. The person shatters my faith in man (like most people do) by saying "And I drove alone cause I had been drinking so I thought I probably shouldn't take the kids with me."

Now my first question is; if you're at a bar....what the F*#K are kids doing around you. Secondly, how the hell do you go from BAR to CRASHING THROUGH A FENCE THAT'S BEEN REINFORCED WITH 2 INCH PIPE? Well however you do progress throught that thought process, it doesn't matter. And the person didn't even care we were talking about DUI here.

Skipping ahead, the person refuses to give a breath analyisis at the station. Now, I'm not sure if you understand how a breath analyzer works, but a FART could be registered on this thing and this person swears "I'm blowing as hard as I can!!! But since it isn't registering I guess I'll just take a refusal." NOT MORE THAN 3 MINUTES LATER I say.

"Your license will be suspended in 30 days for refusing to take a breath test"

"When did I refuse to do that?"

/FACEPALM "About 3 minutes ago."

"But...I only had 2 beers!"

Okay, not only did the person blow TWICE over the legal limit, the person also told me at the scene they had FOUR.

2 HOURS after shift get's over, I'm rid of this new Einstein and going home thinking, "12 more hours tomorrow."