I know I was surprised.

Really. I was. I swear.

Okay, yes I'm lying. I wasn't surprised but rather in awe of the stupidity this took.

I was taking a report on a vehicle burglary today. Someone broke into a guy's car and stole a bunch of electronics, and everything seemed pretty on par in the terms of how a crime goes. Then he drops the list of items lost. They include:

2 laptops (less than 8 months old)
2 Ipod touch MP3 players
1 Sony Entertainment System
and mannnny many other items, suffice to say the total loss was at $5,500.00. I WISH I was making that up.

So I ask him, "When was the last time you saw this equipment?"

He replies, "Well I loaded it into a black duffel bag on Tuesday...so....yeah....Tuesday at like...10:30 in the morning."

"Okay," I say, "and when did you notice it missing."

"Uhhh today round 12:00."

So I think to myself "Self...If you threw $5,500.00 worth of electronics into your car, you'd secure it, so there must be signs of forced entry."

So I ask, "Are there any signs of forced entry?"

"Ah, well...nahh...nahh man. See, I only have the ignition key to this car, sooo like, I have to leave the doors unlocked in order to drive it. Plus the back windows don't roll up."

At this point I nearly took my own Taser, placed it at the base of mine spine and fired in order to calm the screaming monkey in my head that wanted me to just kick this guy in the kneecap. Instead I just confirm his story...

"So you loaded $5,500.00 of electronics into a bag, and left it in an unsecure car, with the windows down for almost 48 hours."

"Yeah." And of course he says this like I'M the tool who doesn't know what he's doing.

I told him there was almost no shot of getting this stuff back unless someone tries to sell it. He kinda seems sad, and gives me a thank you as he leaves.

At least some stupid people are smart enough to be sad they lost their belongings.